I apologize for this last minute blog post but it is important. We at CFIB are a close group of friends and when someone makes an error in judgment that may have long term affects, we need to step in and help.
I’m afraid one of our very own members may lose his Man Card. There are a few ways to lose your man card, for example:
1. Use fake tanner or getting a spray on tan
2. Buying wine coolers for yourself
3. Knowing the lyrics to a Miley Cirus or Justin Bieber song
4. Going to see a chick flick by yourself
5. Asking for directions
6. Wearing mascara if you’re not in a band or a rock star
7. You have a bedazzler or have been bedazzled
8. You wear a pair of speedos……..I don’t care if you’re in Europe, you will still lose your man card
9. A man is never allowed to cry except for the following exceptions:
a. A heroic dog dies while saving his master
b. You are struck in the testicles with something moving faster than 7mph
c. Your favorite sports team loses or wins the big game.
10. Unless you are under the age of 18 or wearing a bathing suit, DON’T wear Tighty Whitey’s. It still escapes all reasoning as to why they even make them in adult sizes.
That’s a small sample of ways one could lose his Man Card. It’s not easy to doand breaking one is worthy of losing it. There is one more that has been broken in our gym and I’m not sure what we can do to help him get it back.
We have about 20 people at CFIB participating in Movember, this is where we MEN raise money for research for curing prostate cancer and during this month we grow our manliest Mustaches and aren’t allowed to shave them. Well that has been broken, someone has shaved their mustache! The only acceptable reason to shave a mustache this month would be if you had an accident and shaving your stache was necessary for immediate surgery, there is no other good reason.
So please, help me with determining a proper punishment for breaking such a horrific man law, so he can get his man card back and be accepted among us again.