We at CFIB are a close group of friends and when someone makes an error in judgment that may have long term effects, we need to step in and help.
I’m afraid one of our very own members may lose his Man Card. There are a few ways to lose your man card, for example:
1. Use fake tanner or getting a spray on tan
2. Buying wine coolers for yourself
3. Knowing the lyrics to a Miley Cirus or Justin Bieber song
4. Going to see a chick flick by yourself
5. Asking for directions
6. Wearing mascara if you’re not in a band or a rock star
7. You have a bedazzler or have been bedazzled
8. You wear a pair of speedos……..I don’t care if you’re in Europe, you will still lose your man card
9. A man is never allowed to cry except for the following exceptions:
a. A heroic dog dies while saving his master
b. You are struck in the testicles with something moving faster than 7mph
c. Your favorite sports team loses or wins the big game.
10. Unless you are under the age of 18 or wearing a bathing suit, DON’T wear Tighty Whitey’s. It still escapes all reasoning as to why they even make them in adult sizes.
That’s a small sample of ways one could lose his Man Card. It’s not easy to do and breaking one is worthy of losing it. There is one more rule that has been broken in our gym which has resulted in the loss of a man card and I’m not sure what we can do to help him get it back.
When we were posing for our annual Coaches Christmas Card Picture, Coach DK decided to pose with the tiniest puppy and put a cute little bow on his head. He was snuggling with it, rubbing noses with the puppy and using a soft girly voice when talking to the pup. I was in shock, below is a picture of him posing with the pup.
So please, help me determine a proper punishment for breaking such a horrific man law, so he can get his man card back and be accepted among us again.
Strict Pull-Ups (5/3)
15 Box Jumps (24/20)