It’s the time of year so we need to discuss this again. As we know, normally my posts are bipartisan; I try not to push my opinion or agenda too much towards one side or the other. However, this holiday season I felt it was important to make one thing very clear. . . the movie “Die Hard” is NOT a Christmas movie. No, this does not make me anti-holiday, I am just the opposite, Erin and I got married in December just so we could have a Christmas themed wedding. So if anything, we know what is and is not holiday spirit.
Yes it’s shocking to hear but let it sink in for a second and really give it some thought, Die Hard is not a Christmas movie. Saying Die Hard is a Christmas movie is like saying Home Alone is a Christmas movie.
To prove why Die Hard isn’t a Christmas movie, we should establish two basic ground rules for what makes a Christmas movie.
1. There needs to be something magical in it – Christmas movies have Santa, Reindeer, elves, snowmen, ghosts or the Christmas Spirit as significant plot points in a holiday movie. If there isn’t a magical character or some magical Christmas spirit happening in the movie, then it’s a regular film that just happens to be released during the holiday season or at some point in Christmas is mentioned; and
2. You need reformed characters – The most well-known Christmas movie with a reformed character is Ebenezer Scrooge. When you have a reformed character in a Christmas movie the story gives you a fantastic ending and will never fail to make you smile when he/she has that breakthrough moment. . . usually a Christmas song will start at this point too. Other famous reformed characters from very clear Christmas Movies are the Grinch and George Bailey from It’s a Wonderful Life. These characters are key elements in a real Christmas movie.
Now with those two very basic rules for a Christmas movie, Die Hard is immediately eliminated. You may have had a small inkling of an argument if the villain (Hans Gruber) became reformed at the end seeing the wrong in his ways and decided to give back to the community. But no his only goal start to finish is to kill and steal. Again, as you see from the earlier rule you need a reformed character. This movie is an office Christmas party that takes place on Christmas Eve. Christmas Eve!!!!! What kind of example is this? If this is such a warm fuzzy Christmas movie, shouldn’t they be with their families on Christmas Eve and not at their office getting skunk drunk away from their kids and loved ones. Also, Die Hard was released July 1988. Not even during the holiday season, Christmas movies are not released in the summer time……….Clearly this is not a Christmas movie.
Secondly, there is no magic happening in this movie, just death. Yep, a bunch of death. And not even the Christmas kind like the Ghost of Christmas Past or Future. Just a couple of dudes going around shooting people. There is no magical Santa, elves, reindeer, spirits, or any other kind of magic. Not even black magic!
Since I mentioned Home Alone earlier, let’s add why Home Alone isn’t a Christmas movie either. This movie is about a horrible family leaving behind their spoiled child who flips out because he didn't get his cheese pizza. The movie ends with the spoiled kid ruining his neighbor’s houses during his battle scene with the burglars. A good kid would have called the cops and waited but this kid cares more about being alone, causing mischief, not thinking about the damage he’s doing to others. In the credits of the movie, they should showed the bills his neighbors had to pay in order to fix the damage he did to their houses. We are led to believe that everything is better when the horrible parents and family come home and the movie ends with a Christmas song. That’s a Christmas movie? There is nothing magical and no reformed characters in it. How do we know the villains aren’t reformed? Uh duh. . . the sequel! The criminals are still stealing and Kevin is still a spoiled brat causing mischief.
It seems those that think Die Hard and Home Alone are Christmas movies base this on the idea that all you need in a holiday movie is for it to take place during the month of December at some point during the movie, have a Christmas prop in the background and have “Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer” playing at some point in the film. The criteria that makes Die Hard and Home Alone Christmas movies would mean I could put a Santa Hat in a porn movie and POOF now it’s a Christmas movie. You wouldn’t call that a Christmas movie just because some dude is holding a mistletoe over his jingle bells. I’m not sitting around the fire with my family, drinking cocoa and watching that kind of nakedness because they are doing it in front of a Christmas Tree.
So I'm sorry I have to be the voice of reason. I hope this information helps you select appropriate Christmas movies to pick and watch with your family this holiday season.
p.s. Erin read through this post and said I can’t use “We” because she considers Die Hard a Christmas movie.
P.s.s. the following movies are also not Christmas Movies
A Nightmare Before Christmas(This is a Halloween Movie)
Any of the Batman Movies
Iron Man 3
P.s.s.s. The following ARE also Christmas Movies
Trading Places – has reformed characters, something magical happens and it has the Christmas Spirit in it through and through.
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16 Minute EMOM
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This is one of my favorite videos, because everyone loves Christmas and Mariah Carey